As the Pendulum Swings
by Jistax
Summary: Everyone she had loved had been taken by death. Eighteen and killing herself, Katara is overwhelmed by the Avatar's elements. Now she's back in her fourteen year old body given the chance to change everything. Well...Zuko isn't a bad place to start.


Hi! This is my first fic but it's experimental...while writing this I was unsure about even continuing it...so it may just suddenly be gone because I don't like it. Um...how about a disclaimer?

Disclaimer: And they would trust Avatar the Last Airbender in a teenager's hands because...?

Right. Well...on with the show--er, I mean--fanfic!

* * *

"Katara! What are you waiting for?! He's right there! Kill him!" 

His eyes met hers and his face became impassive—distant almost—and his lips parted, forming the words, "Well? What are you waiting for Katara? Kill me."

_I never wanted this. I swear. I never…this wasn't supposed to happen._

"Katara!" She whipped her head around to face her brother's painted face, a scowl of impatience and confusion slowly forming on it. His hand clutched his boomerang tightly, and he raised it above his head. "Are you going to finish him off or what?"

"I…" Her eyes started to water, breath hitching as her grasp on his collar slackened, "I…"

_Please believe me. __**Please.**__ None of this was supposed to happen. We shouldn't have even met in the first place. _

"For the sake of honor, right?" Zuko whispered, repeating what he had said many, many moths ago.

She let out a humorless laugh, tears flowing freely as she hiccupped between her hysterical giggle and shook her head, trembling from head to foot, laughing at the irony of his words. He chuckled along with her, eyes wide and bright, a frown pasted on his face.

Her blurred vision turned to the ice dagger in her hand and she clutched it tighter, inching it closer to his neck. "Where's the honor in this Zuko?" she replied, voice cracking, "Because if you know I would really love to hear it."

"You're doing what's right, you're doing what you're supposed to," Zuko paused, contemplating over his next words before continuing, "That…that should be enough." Crimson blood appeared on his neck as it ran slowly down his skin, outlining his form and staining the tip of the ice dagger. His hands twitched as he let out a soft sigh. "Whatever happens happens, but just promise me one thing…"

"A-Anything."

"No regrets," he whispered, "alright?"

She nodded as she pressed the tip of the dagger ever so slightly onto his skin, creating a larger rush of blood. Her hand shook along with her breath and she kept on shaking her head.

_I am so sorry._

This was so very wrong.

_I wish I could change things._

This entire war was so very wrong.

_If only I could make things right…_

This world was so very wrong.

_I was _going _to make things right._

"I can't do this," she hissed out, eyes clenching shut and dagger at his throat. "I can't do this…Sokka…"

_I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…_

Decide.

That was all she had to do.

Her brother or him.

_Please forgive me, please._

Either way she'd still lose.

Either way she'd still be frowned upon.

Decide. Now.

_I only wanted a happy ending._

It was the moment her perfect world finally fell apart.

_What do I do?_

My dear friend…

…_if you can, tell me, please tell me…_

…where are we now?

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

-

**As the Pendulum Swings**

Chapter 1

-

-

-

-

_He was dead when we found him._

They had always known that Fire Lord Ozai was strong—ruthless—perhaps beyond invincible. But Aang was the Avatar, the _Avatar_, for spirit's sake, and everyone against the Fire Nation had put their faith, their trust, their hope, in him. Because—heck—Aang was invincible too. Maybe just as invincible as the Fire Lord himself. And, due to the fact that they kept on telling (_and telling and telling and telling_) themselves that, they believed it so much that it **hurt.**

Well, obviously not, Katara had told herself as she stared down at the torn body, blood and sweat and dirt and tears engulfing her face and creating a foul aroma that intoxicated her sense of smell.

And the disappointment was _overwhelming_.

Aang had managed to keep Ozai from killing him for who knows how long. But by the time Katara, Sokka, and Toph had arrived to help him, Ozai and Aang had fire at each other's throat, engulfing the other one, it seemed, in a pool of flames. The sadistic grin that had spread across their enemy's face when they had burst into the room had broken her heart. Everything they had worked towards, the boy they had dedicated the past four years to…

Gone.

Aang, her best friend, was dead.

And not even the strongest healer could bring him back.

The long and horrendous reign of Fire Lord Ozai was over, however, meaning Aang _did_ do his job, meaning the world was safe, and thus meaning the war was now over. That gave the people something to celebrate, she supposed, that gave the people something to remember the young and fearless Avatar by.

But the pain was still there.

Iroh had died some time ago and even_ that_ was a devastating blow to the teenager, but when she herself killed Zuko, she lost it. She loved him dammit and then she killed him, doing what was right in such a wrong, horrible way.

So, imagine, your best friend, the boy who comforted you during everything and was always there, watching your back when no one else did, died, in front of you, in such a dishonorable way for such an honorable man…

Think about it. Contemplate it. Figure it out. Understand the pain and heartbreak and…

…bingo. Everything except your thickheaded brother and your blind best friend were dead—gone, taken by time and fate and destiny.

Which was probably why she found herself here, lying on her bed listening to her brother's rambling with tears silently falling down her face.

"We should move on Katara."

Her eyes widened and she flinched inwardly, slowly sitting up she asked, "What? Why?"

"You…" he whispered, looking at his feet, "…ever since Aang died you haven't exactly been yourself. You just do…nothing."

She loosely shrugged her shoulder and crossed her arms. Katara flicked her eyes over to the blind earthbender sitting on a stool. "Do you think this too?"

Toph, hearing the question directed towards her, rose her head up. "We won't forget him Sugar Queen, we just need to, y'know, move on and stop living in the past. It hurts…"

"…seeing you like this," Sokka finished, ignoring the obvious cough coming from Toph. He stood up and walked over to his little sister, peering down at her uncertainly, "What do you say?"

"No."

"Good," he replied, smiling weakly. "Then it's settled. Tomorrow we'll start living our new lives, still keeping Aang in the back of our minds of course, and meet new people and make new friends and—wait. What did you say?"

"I said no," she repeated, slightly irritated, "I won't forget my best friend like that. He deserves, at least, to be remembered every _damn_ day." _I won't forget Zuko like that either_.

After much begging and bribing and crying she was still standing firm on her answer, looking away with determinacy written on her face, silent.

And so that's how they left her. Defiant. Angry. Confused. Heartbroken. Disappointed.

**Alone.**

Eighteen years she had lived, and already she wanted to end it. Sokka and Toph had been broken after the death of their best friend. The love-of-her-life had been gone ever since she sliced his throat with hesitancy and reluctantly left him there to bleed to death. Katara's own father had been killed on the battle front and her mother was murdered during an invasion. Her Gran-Gran had died long ago, and the regret still burned inside of her at the fact that she was never home to take care of her.

Katara sat on her knees in the snowy floor of her hut, ice dagger in hand, mulling over the different ways she could put an end to her life. She hadn't told anyone she was finished; Sokka would not be able to handle the thought. And Toph wouldn't let her out of her…"feeling zone". As much as Katara hated to do this to them, they would find out sooner or later. In fact, those two were the only ones left here that she cared about. Everyone else had departed from this world. She smiled lightly, and her fingers closed around the dagger. At least joining them was an option.

There were several different ways to do it, she knew, and felt oddly calm. _I could put the dagger through my heart or press it to my temple,_ she mused. Really, any way she did it would be somewhat painful. But she had noticed lately that pain had stopped coming. She would only stare blankly at a wound caused from training and the blood that dripped from it, and could then simply heal herself and continue. Why was it that she could no longer feel pain? She supposed that depression did that to you after a while.

"_Katara, stop!!!"_

Sokka burst into the hut, the door actually flying off of its hinges. Katara's eyebrows lifted a little, surprised but unflinching, until she saw Toph following suit. They had an odd knack for always knowing when something was going to happen to her.

Such a shame she had already drawn the dagger across her wrist.

"Katara, NO!" he yelled harshly, the desperation evident in his cracking voice. She smiled slightly at him as she regarded his desperately panicked expression. _Don't worry; sooner or later you'll do the same._

Sokka's boots pounded the floor as he ran toward her, petrified that he would lose her. His now mature face was tight in terror, and he took off his parka as he ran.

_Earth._

The Avatar stirred.

_Water. _

He bubbled with worry and excitement.

"_**Go.**__**"**_

_Fire._

The Avatar's spirit was felt in the room.

_Air._

Ever so slowly, he began to appear with a ghostly look.

The Avatar could sense when his loved ones were in a fatal danger. Now was the perfect time to return, if only for a brief moment. Sokka and Toph could not let Katara dominate their thoughts and tell Aang what was happening at the same time. If he were to help now, he wouldn't know what to do. Agni knows that the last Airbender had no idea what had been happening to his friends these past few years.

"SAVE HER!!" Toph's voice rang throughout the hut, stopping from running. "I don't care how you do it, just SAVE HER!!"

Aang's shock was evident on his face as he slowly nodded, sadness appearing.

The immense burst of chakra that exploded from his body swept through the room, rattling Katara's small home on its foundation. Katara looked up at him, confused but gazing at him with a tired, faraway expression. Damn, she was weakening fast, they noticed.

_Save her._

For the first time, ever since he died, his voice answered them.

_You may not like the outcome. _

Katara shrieked as the elements swirled around her, encompassing every inch of her until she was surrounded. The pain was coming now, and it was excruciating. She bit her tongue to stop her screams, and she tasted blood. _Kind of has a tangy taste, _she thought bizarrely. As if her thoughts should be on something so trivial.

The light came then, a surreal glow that lit up every shadow of the room. Katara peered through her eyelids for any sign of her friends, but the light was too great. All she saw was the red, blue, brown, and white of Aang's chakra, and the most uprooting sensation ripped through her. The feeling of being torn in two caused her inexplicable pain, and she writhed helplessly on the floor. She could not take this agony. In that instant, she knew that suicide could not have been her only choice. She knew because of that last thought that crossed her mind before she succumbed to the blackness.

_I want to live._

Only dimly aware of the screams of "Katara! _Katara!!,_" Katara passed out.

Darkness. Pain. Agony. And then—

"It's not getting away from me this time," mumbled Sokka to himself as he looked over the edge of the canoe, spear up and ready to penetrate the water and catch a fish, "Watch and learn, Katara. This is how you catch a fish."

Her eyes snapped open as she found herself floating on a small canoe, her brother's back facing her, and iceberg's all around her. She gazed at her hands sharply. Gloved. Smaller. Warm. No cuts or blood apparent.

"Sokka," she whispered, eyes widening.

"Shh, not now, I'm trying to get food."

"But _Sokka_," she said his name more urgently, looking up at him.

He whirled around, narrowing his eyes, "What? Can't you see I'm busy catching a fish?"

She rolled her blue irises and crossed her arms, leaning back. "Where's Toph?" she asked, irked. "And…why did Aang appear?

"Who the heck is--? You know what," he said, turning back around, "I don't want to know. He's probably one of your imaginary boyfriends." He paused and then, "He better be _only_ an imaginary boyfriend."

Katara snorted as she rolled her eyes once more before she stood up slowly, balancing herself as she peered to the horizon, eyes squinting as she tried making out the bland scenery.

Last time she remembered doing this with her older brother she was fourteen years--

Her eyes opened wildly and she quickly glanced at her brother, "Sokka, how old am I?"

"How old are you…? Last time I checked…a hundred and fourteen," he smirked, leaning back as he groaned, "You have a slight wrinkle right over—hey! HEY! No, water-witchy-magic around me! Remember?"

"Seriously," she almost yelled, urgency well-obvious in her voice, "how old am I Sokka?"

"14."

"And has the war ended yet?"

"No. Katara," Sokka stated, worry in his tone, "the war has been going on for 100 years."

"Why am I here?" she asked desperately, eyes widening, "Why am I fourteen? Why—why hasn't the war ended? Sokka, what's—"

"—We're just fishing Katara," he said, shaking his head as he looked into the water, staring at the fish. "I knew I should've left you home. Leave it to a girl to screw things up."

Her eyes were slits and she raised her hand—_Can I still make tidal waves?_—thinking better of it though, she loosely flicked her wrist, dousing her older brother with water. Approved of his response she sat down once again and looked distantly into the water.

_Why am I fourteen again? _She asked herself, sighing in a frustrated manner. _I should be dead by now, with Aang and Iroh and Zuko and…_

Zuko.

Her eyes began to tear up at the thought of the boy.

_What's done is done, _she thought sternly, running the back of her hand across her eyes, clearing any tears. _I can't change any of it._ But, then again…

She was fourteen.

She was in the South Pole.

She hadn't met the Avatar yet.

And the scene in front of her was mightily familiar.

(_Please don't be a dream_.)

"Watch out!" Katara shrieked, breaking out of her trance-like state. "Go left! Go left!" Her brother nodded swiftly, grabbing the oar and pushing and pulling away from any blocks of icebergs. Her eyes widened at the sight of three icebergs coming together and them floating right into it.

She felt a rough hand grab the back of her parka suddenly, giving her a large shove onto a piece of ice. Hearing a sharp crack from the canoe she looked up and faced her brother. "You call that left?"

"You don't like my steering," Sokka stated more than asking, sitting upright. "Well, maybe you should've waterbended us out—"

"Wait a second!"

Sokka shook his head and looked away, "You and your mood swings, honestly."

"I…I don't think I'm dead," she whispered to herself.

"No duh, Sherlock."

Ignoring him, she pinched herself, and was amazed to feel the shoot of pain up her arm. When you're dead, you don't feel pain. This wasn't the afterlife at all.

She was alive.

But nothing explained how she ended up like this. No element she had ever known could send people back in time. She figured that if it were even possible at all, it would take a massive amount of energy, and something with the ability…

_Aang._

She remembered the faint outline of what had happened the moment she tried to take her life. Aang's chakra had burst out of him, most of it surging from the arrows they all knew marked him as the Avatar. He _must _have done it.

Katara's confusion settled down somewhat as her logical mind took over. Of course it was Aang. In order for him to unleash great power he had to contain it inside him. Why not be able to contain and unleash the power of time as well? After all, the Avatar was the strongest out of all the humans. That was it. Aang and the others had wanted so desperately to save her, but there was no getting back a life. So in order to do the impossible, the Avatar State had split her mind and element from her dying body and flung them through time. The result was her waking up as her former, pre-depression self, still a fourteen-year-old girl.

But that meant…Katara raced over to the large iceberg in front of her. Forgetting that her brother was behind her, she raised her hands above her head.

"Katara," Sokka spoke, "what are you doing?"

She made an X above her head and feeling her chakra move to her fingertips she swung them behind her, dragging the ice with them. A large crack filled the air and she braced herself for the downpour of water. She stood in the same defensive position until the ice and water cleared away.

"Okay," Sokka said, walking up to her slowly, "you've gone from weird to freakish, Katara."

She ran ahead of him and grabbed his spear, shouting a "C'mon!" and raced to a large spherical iceberg. Jumping from ice to ice, hearing her brother's quick footsteps behind her, she landed in front of it, eyes widening with happiness.

"Come on," she mumbled to herself, trembling with excitement, "show me you're awake."

She waited and then…

Nothing.

"Come on," she said, louder and more desperate. She swung the spear behind her and with tremendous force slammed it into the iceberg, "Wake up!"

An outlining of a boy, arrows glowing white, eyes turning an eerie bright color.

"He's alive!" she yelled, "We have to help."

"Katara! Get back here! We don't know what that thing is!"

But she knew exactly what it was.

She whacked it even harder, repetitively, as she let out cries of happiness.

_Whack._

Aang was in there.

_Whack._

Meaning Ozai hadn't killed him.

_Whack._

She just had to get him out.

_WHACK!_

"C'mon," she hissed, "you piece of—" A large explosion caught her off guard, however, as a large beam of white-blue light shot out. Sokka grabbed the Waterbender and drew her behind him, protecting his little sister from the explosion.

Katara's eyes darted behind her and she scanned the horizon slowly, squinting to get a better view.

White, blue, white, blue, white, blue, white, blue, white, gray, blue—wait! Her eyes flew back to the dot of gray in the distance, it almost looked like a…a…

A ship.

A Fire Navy ship.

Her smile widened as she did a silent cheer in her head, Zuko and Iroh! They were alive!

"Katara!"

Her attention was brought back to what was in front of her though, when she heard a soft scraping sound. She lunged forward, darting out from behind Sokka, barely catching the boy as she laid him gently onto the soft blanket of snow and ice.

"Stop it!" Katara reprimanded as her brother poked Aang in the head with the blunt end of his weapon. She then slowly turned the boy over onto his back and let out a soft smile.

His eyes slowly opened and stared blankly into the blue ones in front of him. Before he got to speak, however, she put her finger to his lips, "Of course I'll go penguin sledding with you."

His eyes widened in shock, confusion, and excitement. "Really?!" came out the muffled reply.

She let out a giggle, laughing at the boy's innocent antics, "Really."

Excitement curled in Katara's stomach. Every one of the people she had seen die throughout her life would be here. Her depressed mood had somewhat lifted, and now she was only apprehensive about the meeting with Zuko later. She had the power to change whatever she wanted! If she played her cards right, she just might be able to stop…all of her close people from dying…

As only one person, Katara wondered how much she could actually affect the war. What were the consequences of messing with the future? She ticked off just a few things to change, and vowed to set a plan as soon as possible.

_Get Zuko to join us._

_Be nicer to Sokka._

_Pay more attention to Aang so he will never feel guilty._

_Be more sisterly to Toph._

_Stop this war before time runs out…_

She knew, with her now being a Waterbending Master at this age, she could change plenty of things. Protect everyone to some extent even. And if she played her cards right, she could save the ones who were dear to her.

She could save herself.

And she could stop this war.

_My dear friend, if you can, tell me, please tell me…_

Suddenly, her future looked so much brighter.

She had the chance to change **everything**.

Wonderful.

…_what would you do if you could change the world?_

* * *

Eh...how was it? Tips and pointed-out mistakes are welcome! 

Til...the next update,

:**Jistax**:


End file.
